Date & Dish

Last night I met Data guy at his place before heading to a movie. Traffic was horrible on my way there, so once I arrived he met me at his car and proceeded to drive us to the theater. He had purchased the tickets online so we picked them up at the box office and headed inside for an entertaining flick. Afterwards, we decided to get some food, so we went to a sushi place for dinner. It was hilarious. The place was packed with people, mostly students, and it seemed like all the waiters and patrons were shouting “sake bomb!” at five-minute intervals. Data guy was once again hilarious, totally cracking me up the entire time. He’s got a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor, and I love it. I can’t even tell you what all we talked about…I just remember that I was laughing almost the entire time.

After dinner, we went back to his place and he asked if I wanted to come up. He said he was trying to be a gentleman since it was only our second date and I reminded him that I had come up on our first date when I needed to recover from my tipsyness. So we went up to his place and watched an episode of Ali G, which I had never seen before, before making out on the couch.

I’m still sorting out how I feel about making out with people…like how soon is too soon? It’s so much fun, but does it complicate things? Especially when you really like someone? Sigh. Who knows.

Anyway, Data guy saw me online today and we exchanged a few IMs. I think we’re going to try to get together again in a few days. I guess we’ll see where things go with him.

Meanwhile, I’ve recently gotten a lot of e-mails on one of the dating sites I use. Is it because the holidays are so near and people want someone to kiss under the mistletoe? I’ll buy into that. I guess another thing I’m trying to figure out is if I should set up dates with new guys now or if I should take it easy and see how things go with Data guy. I certainly don’t think he expects that I’m not seeing anyone else (and I don’t expect that from him), but it just gets so darn tiring trying to date multiple people at the same time. I guess maybe I’ll just wing it for a while….

So I thought things were left okay with the Student. Then I got this big long e-mail from him, basically asking why I decided I didn’t want to date him anymore. Sheesh. Does it matter? It’s not going to change anything. He asked me what I’m looking for when I’m dating someone, and whether I didn’t ever want to be in a relationship at all or whether I just didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. He told me he e-mailed me rather than asking in person so that I could take my time to reply. When I didn’t reply in two days, I got another e-mail from him saying, “It’s all good…don’t sweat it.” I mean, come on! I plan on writing him back this weekend and am trying to decide how honest to be. It basically comes down to me wanting a little more distance and him smothering me to the point where it totally turned me off.

I’ll try to word it a little nicer than that.

I met up with HH again at a social for a local outdoor club. We’re both interested in doing things with the group, and it had come up in conversation, so he suggested that we meet there since he was going anyway. After mingling with some of the other members, we chatted with each other as the crowd winded down. He gave me some tips on a piano piece I’m trying to learn. He’s so interesting…he seems to know something about everything. Seriously. Anyway, we left with waves and “see ya’s” and didn’t even hug or anything. Either he’s really not into me or he’s really gay. There’s no in-between for this one, is there? I’m not sure I’m getting the “too shy” vibe anymore. I mean, we’ve seen each other what…six or eight times now? Sigh.

I had my first date with Data guy two nights ago. We met at a tapas bar for food and drinks. It actually went great! I had a total blast. He was really cute and totally hilarious. Seriously, we were cracking up and busting on each other the whole time. He seemed a bit surprised by how well-travelled I am…whenever he mentioned a destination he’d like to visit, and I said I’d been there and loved it, he would just sigh and exclaim “Sheesh! Where haven’t you been?”

He totally called me out by asking what happened five months ago when we last communicated online. I said, “Was it you? Or was it me?” knowing full well that it was me. He said, “I think it was you,” and I explained that I had decided to take a break. He said he figured that I had found a boyfriend and I told him no, that wasn’t the case at all. He asked if I had any luck with online dating, meaning more than a first date, and I said yeah, I had. He told me that he went on about three dates with girls he met online and was really disappointed. Apparently he had bad luck with girls who didn’t look like their photos. What does Paul call them…tweeners? I don’t know if these girls were tweeners or if they were truly misrepresenting themselves with photos or what, but he said that I was very pretty in my pics and very pretty in person, so I guess he didn’t put me into the category of disappointments as far as that goes.

I had one too many sangrias (hey, I only had two!) and I was fairly tipsy when we wrapped up. We tried to figure out what to do since I didn’t want to drive, and we ended up going to his place which was really nearby. No major makeout session or anything…just mp3 downloading and bonding with his sweet dog. He had to get up early (or at least that’s what he told me), so after I had recovered he drove me back to my car and gave me a huge hug and a teeny peck goodnight. We said we would get together again.

The next day, I got an IM from good old German guy. He asked how I was and made small talk. He said he was sick and when I asked how else he was doing, he said “not so sparkly.” Then he said, “I guess it’s not so bad being single after all.”

Yep…apparently things with his ex didn’t work out after all. I expressed my sympathy and tried to cheer him up. I did think it was a bit ironic, though, that part of the reason for things not working out between them was that she still had an ex in the picture. Whoa! Anyway, I really hope he doesn’t think that I’m still interested in dating him, because honestly, I’m not. I’m totally cool with being friends, and we’re hanging out next week, but I’m not interested in going there with him anymore. I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me. I don’t want to be with someone who wants to be with me simply because he can’t be with someone else. And I also don’t know how I feel about the way he handled everything when he was so “confused.”

Am I being too hard on him?

Anyway, Data guy and I are going out again tonight. I’m meeting him at his place, and then we’re going to see a movie. It’s that weird in-between early date thing where I can’t even really picture his face very well right now because I’ve only seen him for like three hours max. I hope tonight goes as well as the other night though, or even better….

I met with the Student tonight. It went about as well as it could go, I guess. I hadn’t seen him in nearly two weeks, so there was plenty of time to kind of avoid him, I guess. We met at a café and chatted for a bit, making the obligatory smalltalk until I said, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” He said he was a smart guy and he figured as much. I told him that I had been doing some thinking, and I think we should just be friends. I said I thought he was awesome (true) but that I didn’t think we should continue to see each other in “that way.”

He said he had kinda gotten that from me. He basically asked why, and I said something about not thinkiing we were in the same place or on the same page about things, and not thinking we would be, and anticipating that it would wind up being bad news at some point. He proceeded to tell me that he had been trying to pull back his relationship thoughts (he didn’t explicitly say it that way, but I know that’s what he meant) since he had been getting that vibe from what I said and the way I behaved with him. He asked if I thought we could just go out (as in date), and I said no, I didn’t think that would be a good idea. I told him I was open to remaining friends with him, but that I would leave it up to him to determine if he wanted to go there with me or not. I would totally understand whatever he decided to do. He said he doesn’t like me any less, and he would like to be friends. So we’ll see what happens.

I’m just glad it’s done. It was a tough conversation, but it had to happen.

I am realizing that I do know what’s right for me — and what’s not right. I want to be happy, and if something is not making me happy, I have the power to change it, you know?

In other news, German guy and I are somewhat friends now. He was my last-ditch-I’m-totally-desperate date to a wedding a few weeks ago, and it was fine. I actually ended up giving him love advice, telling him not to be a wuss and to follow his heart with his ex. I dropped off the favor he forgot in my car the other night at his place, and he was getting ready to go see her. He’s going to try to work things out with her. I truly do hope things work out the way he wants them to, because I know now that as intense as our connection was and as right as it felt like it could have been, I do not want to be with someone who was obviously so recently confused about his emotions what he wanted that he could be so involved with me while still undecided about his ex. Hey, we call go through crap like that, and we all have various issues that we’re dealing with at some point or another. But I know that I do not need that in my life.

So HH and I finally got together the other night. We met for dinner and went to a coffeeshop to chat. It was fine. It felt like catching up with an old work friend or something. My friends think he’s gay…I can’t tell if he’s gay, really shy, or just not interested in me in that way. Whatever…he’s cool and I’m fine with just hanging out with him. We ended the evening with our usual hug. He sent me an e-mail the next day and asked if I wanted to meet him at a social for a group we had both independently become interested in. I said sure, I’d meet him there, so I guess I’ll see him again this week. It’s always nice to make a new friend, in my opinion.

I do have a date with someone new this week. I’ll call him Data guy, because he does something with personal data…I can’t remember exactly what, to be honest. We first started communicating several months ago when I first got back into online dating. I contacted him again, and we’ve been chatting for a few weeks and trying to deal with various conflicts in our schedules. I think we’re finally going to make it happen in a few days. He seems cool, so we’ll see how it goes. To say that my expectations are low would be incorrect. I truly do not have any expectations. It would be nice to like him, of course…even better if he likes me too. But I’ve been on enough first dates to know that it may or may not go that way. And I’m okay with that.

I would much rather be alone and go through all this than to be unhappy with someone, or to settle, or whatever.

(Aside: I’m sitting in a café, and a young man just walked by on a cellphone, speaking en français. Swoon.)

Okay…I think that about catches us up. I’m in contact with a few other folks on some of the online dating sites I’m on, and I’ve still got two “yes”s from the speed dating event to coordinate a date with. To be honest, I have been longing for a special someone a good bit lately, but I kind of feel like I have a greater appreciation for not having that in my life at this time.

To let the Student down tonight — someone who thinks I’m beautiful and amazing and intelligent and sexy and wonderful — wow…I think that says a lot about where I am right now. It just wasn’t right for me, and I was willing to say no to all that adulation in order to just be with me. Kind of like when I let German guy go.

Yes…it’s done. But I’m not.

After a lot of prayer and thought I decided I’m taking a dating sabbatical.  I already feel a liberation, an awakening.

It all started when I started going back to church.  Then after another execrable experience with online dating I took it as a sign.  Then other signs emerged.  California came calling.  Then my music came calling with an even louder knock.  They were all saying, “You need to pay attention to us!”

Going deeper I realized I was making women my Higher Power.  In women I was searching for validation, my purpose, my reason for living.  A lot of men do this.  They see God in women and seek to find themselves there.  Then women resent them for it.  I believe that women are the closest thing to God on this earth.  That is why so many men lose their way.  (Aside: Friday that is what I think is going on with Student guy.)

Yes I’m taking a break.  I’m not actively dating or even pursuing it.  Right now my passion is my music.  Well actually music has always been my passion.  I am dedicated to giving music everything I have.

If a woman comes along that sparks my interest, yes I’m going to ask her about her situation.  I am not going to approach every woman I find attractive.  I’m going to give it time and let her emerge in a natural way, through connections at church and friends.

So if you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll know what’s up.  I am most likely in the studio working on music or working on my house that I’m getting ready to sell.  I’ve got more than enough to keep me out of trouble.

Don’t you think dating is a vicious cycle? After dusting myself off from the German guy thing, I decided to get back in the dating pool. I’m never going to meet someone great if I don’t put myself out there, right? Unlike Paul, I don’t have much confidence that it would happen for me offline. So I signed up for three different online dating sites and went to work.

I went out with a guy that I’d chatted with for a few weeks, before I ran into German guy again and before my subscription ran out a few weeks ago. We got along really well over IM and chatted a few times a week. When we met, it was…okay. We had good conversation but there just wasn’t any connection. I could tell, and part of me wonders if he could tell too, because we’ve continued to chat but he hasn’t asked me out again. And I’m all for equality in dating but he actually suggested that we split the bill when it came, rather than allow me to offer half after he at least made an effort to pay. I don’t know if that’s because he approaches dates that way or because he just wasn’t feeling it with me either.

A few days later I went to lunch with the Vegetarian. I’d never really thought about it, but I don’t know if I could date a vegetarian long-term. I mean, of course I’d get over it if the love of my life happened to shun meat and fish, but it’s kinda like dating someone with a pot belly or with a gas-guzzling Hummer or something…I’d just rather not go there if I don’t have to. Lunch was fine. We got along very well…he was incredibly nice. But again…no spark. And at one point during lunch I mentioned the place where my ex works, and he said he knew my ex (although he did not of course know that my ex was my ex…you following me?). I asked how he knew him and he said that one of his friends dated him. I raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh really? Who?” And the Vegetarian told me about this friend of his who I had actually met once through my ex. It was just a weird small world moment. I never heard from the Vegetarian again after lunch, and I never contacted him to thank him for lunch. Oh well.

I began exchanging e-mails with a really nice, smart guy who I winked at first. He’s in grad school, so let’s call him the Student. His first e-mail to me honestly kind of blew me away. He picked up on so many things in my profile and was able to speak about some of my interests in a way that was so refreshing and that really stood out from the crowd. We exchanged several e-mails which grew longer and longer in length, and when we finally spoke on the phone, we talked for over two hours. You may remember that I am the girl who hates talking on the phone with people I do not know. But the conversation with this guy was just great. So we set a date to meet, and it went great! I had a prior commitment so our first date was cut short, but I had so much fun I invited him to meet up with me and some of my friends later in the week. To make a long story short, since then, we’ve seen each other several times, and I have a dilemma.

The Student likes me too much. He’s waaaay too into me. It’s very obvious that what he wants is a serious relationship, and he wants it with me, right now. To be honest, I want a serious relationship too, but I’m just not feeling it with him. But you know, I could maybe feel it with him if his overzealousness didn’t turn me off and push me away.

Overall, he’s a great guy. Fantastic, even. He’s got a big heart. He’s ready to love. He’s smart and literate and well-travelled, and the physical connection is wonderful. He thinks I’m beautiful and amazing, just the way I am. He’s seen me with smudged mascara and baseball hat hair and he still thinks I’m the bee’s knees.

I guess it’s because of this that he does things that…well…have begun to annoy me.

For example, when he helps me put my coat on, he also removes my hair from beneath the back of my coat. I’m sorry, but I can do that myself! He tries to feed me. In public. And I’m not talking dessert…I’m talking everything from mussels to seaweed salad. I know how to use a fork and knife, and I’m not too shabby with chopsticks, either. He’s a big fan of PDA, and I’m not talking holding hands and pecks on the lips…I’m talking nuzzle-nuzzle, mouth-around-my-ear and tongue-making-an-appearance PDA. I’m very open-minded and very affectionate, but that’s just not my style, you know?

He invited me to an out of town event with him and his friends the weekend of Thanksgiving. When I stalled on committing to make the drive, he proposed an alternative that would only be a daytrip to a nearby college town. To be honest, I don’t know if I can commit to seeing him that far from now. And because I feel that way, I feel that I need to break things off with him.

How do you tell someone you don’t want to see them because they like you too much? We’ve had the conversations where I’ve told him I’m seeing other people, and I’m not ready for a relationship yet (although I left off the “with you” part), and he’s responded with the “why on earth do you want to see other people?” bit, because of course he thinks he’s found the love of his life. (Okay, maybe I exaggerate a tad, but you know what I mean.)

He’s such a great guy. He’s done wonderful things for me, all because he does like me so much. Everything he’s ever done (even the really annoying stuff) has been from the bottom of his heart.

But it’s just too much for me. Aargh!

He’s out of town this weekend, so I get a reprieve. Due to our schedules next week, we probably won’t see each other until next weekend, so that gives me over a week to come up with the right words to say. I’m usually pretty good at breaking things off with people, but this one has really got me stumped.

Meanwhile, HH (remember him?) wants to get together for coffee next week. I really think I’ve just made a friend in him.

And I went out with a new guy, the Writer, who I had a great time with. But I’m days late in responding to his last e-mail.

So many men, so little time.

And I’m avoiding another guy who sounded great online and in e-mail, but when I talked to him on the phone, he totally said all the wrong things. But I had already told him I’d go out with him. So now what? I have been playing “screen my calls.”

Oh! I almost forgot. I went speed dating too! I’ll have to write about that separately because it was an interesting experience. But if anyone has any advice on how to handle the Student, feel free to share. Please!

I wanted to be strong and make a “graceful exit” like Friday.  I know that baggage can be a huge question mark and that possibly there will never be an answer. I’m not sure if I don’t have enough will power or if I have problems believing that there WILL be another guy. Despite the fact that I have zero faith in guys, I want to believe in KP.  I want him to be different from every guy that’s ever dissapointed me. Because I feel I’ve waiting long enough.  I can’t even tell anyone what’s going on, because I have no idea.  I think that it may be too early to have a serious conversation.  I am trying to be patient, and that’s all I can do.  It’s driving me insane.

There’s so much confusion and sometimes I’m okay with it.  That’s all part of the mystery, right?  I’m female and we tend to overanalyze, overthink and get overly emotional.  About what?  Stuff that I’m pretty sure I’ve made up in my head.  It’s so easy to get carried away when you click this well with someone.  I’m so afraid that  I’ll screw everything up like I always do and everything will come tumbling down. It’s the fear. At any moment he could change his mind. Why would I think that? Actually, I know why, and mostly it doesn’t have much to do with KP, but it has something to do with KP. I can sense some uncertainty, maybe caution from him. But I feel the same way and it’s the fear of something real. I haven’t had too many long relationships for a reason. I can freak out, have commitment phobia or risk aversion (aren’t they all the same thing?). Uncertainty is in every relationship, sometimes it’s a slight tremor and sometimes it’s more of an earthquake.

The good news is that I’m making a serious effort to see other people.  It helps with the constant worrying and the what ifs?  I like to think the odds of getting hurt have been cut in half (that’s what I keep telling myself, anyway).  The weird thing is, despite the confusion I’m happy.  I’m excited about a new boy that I am meeting on Friday and I’m happy with the way I’ve handled this so far.

Get it? Up dates? I know, groan.

I have so much to dish about. I’ve gone from having pretty much nothing going on in my personal life (post-graceful exit with German guy) to having a lot to look forward to.

I’ll give you the scoop very very soon! I’ve started writing a post but will need more time to finish it…I’ve got so much to share.

Lately I’ve been in a great place.  I haven’t had any dates and honestly I’ve been too busy with my house, church, work, traveling and music to think about women and/or dating.

Today my match.com subscription expired.  It feels wonderful!  I’ve decided that I am not going to use any online dating sites from now on.  For me I consider them “Crack Cocaine Dating.”  I find myself always checking to see if anyone has viewed me.  I check my inbox far too frequently for a message.  I always get disappointed.
Yes I’m going old fashioned.  I’m only going to date people I meet in person.  It’s a little more challenging for me since I don’t come into contact with a lot of people at work.  However I am very involved in my church and I am meeting women there, high-quality women.

I feel great about this.  I will have to push myself a little more because I tend to get self-conscious and reserved at times.  Still the frustration and disappointment from online dating aren’t worth it for me.

I went out with the Engineer on Saturday after much ambiguous communication.  We had started emailing each other last week and had moved on to rather lengthy IM sessions in the evening hours.  The Engineer is originally from Virginia and had recently moved to Atlanta after studying at the Savannah College of Art in historic preservation.  We discovered that we had a lot of in common, including our love of modern architecture, design and furniture.  It’s not often you can discuss these things with someone and then send each other links from ebay for furniture that you’re drooling over. 

The Engineer had suggested that we meet up on Saturday to do a loft tour that promised to be tons of fun, but I had already made plans to go hiking, so I suggested we meet up in the evening.  He gave me the old “I’ll probably be up for something” response, which was rather uncommital from my POV, but ok. 

Given our lengthy IM conversations and emails, I have to admit that I was really eager to meet this guy.  But he hadn’t asked for my number or anything, so I wasn’t sure what was going on.  So I wrote him an email and directly asked him if he wanted to talk on the phone, to which he said “sure” and so we exchanged numbers. 

Prior to my leaving on my hike Saturday morning, he sent me an IM, wishing me a nice time and saying he’d call.  Given his ambivalence about asking for my number, I wasn’t banking on it.  But while I was hiking (with no phone of course), he called twice, telling me about the loft tour.  So I rang him back on the way home and we made plans to get together for dinner and then a party.  He picked me up and we instantly hit it off.  Somehow, our conversation veered to whether it’s better to have bad sex or no sex almost immediately. I have no idea how we got on that topic, but it was pretty funny.  We had a good dinner and then went to a loft party where he met a friend of mine.  Again, he was very social and fun and all flowed well.

But he wasn’t the least bit flirty.  Not at all what I’m used to.  After the party, we walked around the neighborhood talking about buildings and looking into the windows of cool design stores.  And then he took me home.  On the way back he said he had a wonderful time and looked forward to doing cool stuff around town.  He gave me a hug and said, “well let me know when there’s something fun going on around town.” To which I replied, “Sure.  Don’t be a stranger and give me a call.”  He then replied, “You don’t even have to worry about that.”

So Sunday night, he contacts me again via IM and we spend 2 hours chatting.  No flirting.  Nada.  He brought up a future concert that’s happening and said, “we should get  a group together and go”.  Hmmm…. nothing along the lines of “I’d like to see you.”  So it makes me wonder if he’s into dating me at all, or whether he’s really just happy to have made a new friend.  Thoughts?

It’s been several days since I met up with German guy last week, so I’ve had time to get a little distance from it all. I guess the smoke has cleared. I’ll get into how I’m feeling in a bit, but first I want to let you know how it went last week.

We met at a local café. It was nice to see him, and I always loved the way he smiled when he saw me. (sigh) We ordered drinks and bowls of soup, and we chit-chatted about this and that. It was fine, fun even, and I tried really hard not to let my forthcoming message put a damper on our small talk.

At some point, I took a deep breath and said, “Well, there’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.”

He repositioned himself in his chair and said, “I kinda figured you did.”

I basically told him what I planned to tell him. I said it seemed like bad timing, and maybe if things were to change in the future, we could try again. I told him that the last time we saw each other, our goodbye seemed bittersweet, and I didn’t want it to be like that every time we hung out. I told him that nothing changed about the way I felt about him, but I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to continue hanging out. I wished him the best, saying that I hoped he was able to work things out in a way that made him happy, and that I hoped he would soon be at peace with it all since it seemed to be kind of complicated and stressful.

He totally understood. He said he thought that this was coming sooner or later. Apparently he still doesn’t know what’s going to happen with him and his ex, but the fact that he’s so confused about it is enough for me, you know? He looked really disappointed…somber, even…and he took my hand in his and held it tight in silence, occasionally bringing my hand to his mouth to deliberately kiss it.

He said he wondered if he had done something wrong. When I asked him what he thought he could have done wrong, he told me that he wondered if he should have known that this would happen…that the issue with his ex would eventually lead to this. I said, “How could you have known?” and told him that I didn’t think that he had done anything wrong. And his honesty with me about it all was very much appreciated, and it actually made me like him that much more.

We agreed that this didn’t mean we would never speak again. I told him I was still willing to help him with some business that we had discussed previously. He said that he would like to keep in touch, and maybe we could meet for coffee sometime. I told him that I was open to keeping in touch, but I would trust him to determine what’s appropriate based on what’s going on with his life.

I told him that I didn’t want either of us to have any negative feelings about anything, and I wanted us to be in a good place with each other.

We said goodbye, hugging for a long, long time. To me, it felt like a pretty final goodbye. I didn’t think I would hear from him again. I guess I kind of thought we might check in during the holidays, or around birthdays, to say hi and wish each other well. Perhaps I’d hear from him before he went back to Germany for good.

Well, one night later, he sent me an e-mail with a link to a video we had discussed at the café. I read it right before going to bed and didn’t really know how to respond, so I didn’t. I was honestly really surprised to hear from him so soon. I was even more surprised when, less than 10 hours later, he IM’d me during the day at work — something he didn’t even do when we were seeing each other.

[NOTE: Insert passage of time here. I jumped on my IM program to check my history with him, and guess who I immediately got a message from? Yep. But I’ll get there in a moment.]

Anyway, the conversation the other day at work was really just small talk. How you doin’, how’s your day going, stuff like that. That really was about it. Again, I was surprised to hear from him, and honestly pretty freaking confused. I mean, why did he want to communicate with me so soon? What was he trying to do? Did he have motives? What did he want?

Ugh.

Anyway, after that exchange, I realized more than ever that I am so not involved with him…not while he’s still got someone else in the picture. A friend of mine asked me today if I could just casually date him and other people while he figured his crap out. The short answer is no. He and I didn’t connect in a casual dating way. We never really had a chance to see what it would be like to truly be dating, like in a relationship, but if we were going to continue seeing each other, I know I would not feel comfortable with him seeing someone else or considering exclusively seeing someone else rather than seeing me. I’m guessing he would feel the same way, but I could be wrong. It’s hard to explain, but things with him were just different from the start.

So the last few days have found me renewing my subscriptions to three online dating sites, signing up for a speed dating event, and recommitting myself to being available to whatever comes my way.

That brings me to tonight, when I just got an IM from German guy.

Again, it was small talk, but he addressed me as “flower,” which probably sounds really cheesy on paper but coming from him before I broke things off…it always sounded really sweet to me. Anyway, it was small talk. We talked about the business thing I am still willing to help him with, and he said he wanted to drop something off at my office tomorrow. I thought it was a document that he’s wrapping up, but then he said he would e-mail that to me tonight. So I asked him what it was…was it the earrings I had left at his place a while ago? Or was I not supposed to know what it was that he was bringing by?

He finally spilled the beans. He got me a parking pass to the complex where he works. This probably sounds funny, but we had talked about it a while ago, and when I mentioned how cool it was that he got free parking (I’ve had to pay for parking there several times…shopping, dinner and a movie will do it) — he said he would try to get me a parking pass. Of course, I didn’t expect him to even think about a parking pass after the recent changes in our relationship, but whaddya know…he got me one anyway.

So this puts my head in a bit of a tizzy, trying to overanalyze the situation as usual. Apparently he has been thinking about me. He wanted to surprise me with something nice. He is still being really sweet despite the circumstances, which could otherwise be awkward.

Aargh. Aargh! What sucks is that I was actually missing him a lot today. I actually could not stop thinking about him earlier. I even told a friend that I was feeling weak and thought about contacting him although I did not plan to actually do that.

And now, I am going to see him again.

Aargh!

In other news, I am meeting a new guy on Wednesday. We’ve chatted for several weeks via e-mail and IM. He seems really nice and fun and I’m sure we’ll get along well, although I’m not sure what kind of connection we’ll have.

And I have exchanged a few e-mails with someone who really impressed me. He’s into one of my favorite hobbies, asked me questions in French, quoted my favorite poet (who most people have never heard of), and asked me if I’d like to meet for coffee next weekend.

Sweet.

I never, ever thought I’d actually find an appropriate time to pull this movie quote out, but it really is true: Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.