Just Words
Published by Apricot 1 year, 7 months ago in DissesI don’t understand how I got here. All I want is someone to tell me that all of this pain and suffering isn’t for nothing. I wish that I could just snap my fingers and I wouldn’t like KP anymore. That I wouldn’t overanalyze everything he says. That I wouldn’t wish that he is going to reconsider. I want….someone to come along and make me forget all about KP. I wish I could snap my fingers and I didn’t care about what he says to me, how he feels or what his actions are. I know that he is a terribly screwed up individual and I want to save everyone. I know I can’t save everyone. But I want to. I feel like any normal emotionally stable girl that dated a guy for 3 months 4 months ago wouldn’t like him anymore. She wouldn’t care. I’ve gone out with 18 guys in the last 12 month period. I’m tired. I’m lucky this is the only guy who hurt my feelings. I KNOW that the only reasonable thing to do is cut it off completely. I also feel like I should be able to control how I feel against someone who treats me like this. I woke up one day and realized he kept hurting my feelings and yet I kept running back for more. Isn’t it horrible that one of my friends had to point out to me that he makes sad? I couldn’t believe I never realized that until she said something. I wanted closure and I’ve got it now. Finally.
Well now that you’ve realized that, you have to stick with the closure and make sure not to run back for more. It’s hard, because you *can’t* control who you have feelings for, but maybe it’ll be easier to move on if you make an effort not to talk to him at all anymore.