Date & Dish

I figure I owe it to you guys to share a funny date story every now and then.   My match subscription ended around the beginning of November.  I was IMing Country Boy (CB) for about a month and speaking to him on the phone for a few weeks.  Normally I would have been completely bored with him.  I guess he has really good timing since he asked me for my number soon after I broke it off with KP.

It amazes me how very attractive guys can be such freaks. I mean, who knew?  CB can make me laugh, I’ll give him that.  Also, his online pictures didn’t do him justice.  Beautiful blue eyes and a hot body.  How did the pictures fail to show me that?  Anyway, when he asked me if I dated guys who drove camouflage trucks, I should have taken that as a sign to run very far away.

CB claimed he wasn’t nervous for the date, but he had trouble making any eye contact except for his occasional intense stare.  Enough to make anyone uncomfortable.  He dropped a few clues he wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but then he told me it took him 9 years to graduate from college.  A-it was a state school and B-he didn’t take any time off.  He told me he was slow.  Ummm-I guess so.  Still-he was very sweet and almost had an innocence about him.  I almost felt bad for him.

CB was very affectionate and he seemed like a really nice guy.  So when he walked me to my car, he asked me what else I wanted to do.  Umm…like what?  He asked if I wanted to get in his truck and listen to music.  I declined.  Sounded like something serial killers say to their victims.  He told me he wasn’t going to hurt me and after ten minutes he had somehow talked me into it.  I blame it on the alcohol.  So he starts the engine and drives to a nearby parking lot.  He proceeds to feel my leg and I tell him I hadn’t shaved.  He was like “Ewww!”.  Yeah, I don’t shave for first dates, buddy…because you know, I don’t plan on taking off my jeans.  So he sees some people 50 yards away and says, “Well, I would kiss you but there are some people over there.”  Well, I am pretty sure that they can’t see us.  So he drives to another parking lot.  Oh wait, this won’t work either because someone is taking out the trash.  So he drives to yet ANOTHER remote parking lot.  Jeez.  So we eventually kiss.  Then I notice his eyes are open.  “So why are you kissing me with your eyes open?”  Him:  “I’m keeping an eye out for cars.”  How romantic.  I told him he was a little strange.  He told me I was a little strange too.  Okay, so I guess I deserved that one.

So for the good news:  A nice dinner and a nice make-out session with an extremely attractive guy.  Up next:  finally, a non-online date.  Details next week.