E-mail to the Student
Published by Friday 3 years, 9 months ago in DissesHey, Student…hope you had a great weekend!
After doing some thinking, I think my decision to stop seeing you really came down to a few things. I am not totally against the idea of ever being in a relationship again. And I wasn’t totally against the idea of ever being in a relationship with you. But I think that perhaps you were simply a bit ahead of me in terms of what we were doing, and that was expressed in the way you acted with me. In every relationship, each partner will be comfortable with a certain amount of closeness and distance. I think that our comfort levels were not in the same place at the same time. You would come closer to me, so to speak, and I would take a few steps back. In the end, I didn’t see things ever resolving to the point that we’d be on the same page, so I thought it was best to end things.
I think very highly of you, Student. Trust me…it is rare to meet someone that I click with so well so quickly. The decision to stop seeing someone who made me feel beautiful and adored was a tough one. But I think in the long run, I just didn’t see things working out, so I thought it was best to give us both the freedom to move on.
I don’t know if this helps at all or makes things more confusing. I hope you at least kind of understand what I’m saying and know that I wish you nothing but happiness and success.
Have a great week,
Friday
You should’ve said: There’s a reason folks say ‘Nice guys finish last.’ Do you know the meaning of the word space? Do you know how to let a woman miss you? Maybe one day you’ll learn that women need a challenge, the unexpected? Today women are bombarded with nice guys who want to buy things for them and treat them nice. I’m not saying be a dick. Don’t be so bloody predictable. It’s fine and absolutely essential to give a woman a compliment. It’s all in HOW you do it though.
Look back at your past relationships. Is there a pattern? Have women told you this before?
I know it’s hard when you like someone. You want to tell them how you feel about them. But most women are irked by the whole ‘nice guy’ routine. They’ve seen it before and they know the game as soon as you make the first move.
Again, don’t be a dick, but don’t be a doormat. This may bruise your ego a bit. But your mother’s way of treating a woman just doens’t work anymore.
Yeah, I don’t think he would have taken that so well.
Hahaha…Yeah, I think Paul’s version of the “kiss off” is a little more abrasive *haha*. Yet, in all honesty, if you found the RIGHT guy, who adored you and lavished attention on you, I think that you would feel differently. Therefore, I agree that you have to be on the same LEVEL of intimacy before it feels like the right person, time and place. I’ve never liked being smothered, until I found my boyfriend.
Do you think my words communicate what you wanted to say? Why sugar coat it? If women were more direct in their ‘breakup communication’ it would improve male/female relations. You would be the one that set Student on a new path.
So if a girl told you those things, in that way, would you really listen to it or get defensive? I think most guys would get defensive and think she’s a b*tch for saying it.
Remember that e-mail I showed you from Match.com? How brutal and honest it was? Personally I would welcome honesty any day over some sugar coated message that doesn’t get to the heart.
Friday, I think that your message to him was just fine. It really *was* honest and he’ll totally get that you didn’t like him or want to be with him without you sounding too harsh.
If someone wasn’t interested in me, I’d definitely want them to tell me that, but in a somewhat “nice” way, like you did with him. If someone just sat there and basically told me I sucked and never stood a chance (even if they were being completely honest), I’d think that they sounded really angry.
Actually, the way he was treating you *will* work on some woman, some day. It just didn’t work on you because yu didn’t feel the same way. Someone will fall for it (believe it or not) and fall for him and he’ll be just fine.
Yeah, I think that too…that someday, he will find a girl who will totally LOVE all that stuff. It’s just not me.