Curiouser and Curiouser…

So I thought things were left okay with the Student. Then I got this big long e-mail from him, basically asking why I decided I didn’t want to date him anymore. Sheesh. Does it matter? It’s not going to change anything. He asked me what I’m looking for when I’m dating someone, and whether I didn’t ever want to be in a relationship at all or whether I just didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. He told me he e-mailed me rather than asking in person so that I could take my time to reply. When I didn’t reply in two days, I got another e-mail from him saying, “It’s all good…don’t sweat it.” I mean, come on! I plan on writing him back this weekend and am trying to decide how honest to be. It basically comes down to me wanting a little more distance and him smothering me to the point where it totally turned me off.

I’ll try to word it a little nicer than that.

I met up with HH again at a social for a local outdoor club. We’re both interested in doing things with the group, and it had come up in conversation, so he suggested that we meet there since he was going anyway. After mingling with some of the other members, we chatted with each other as the crowd winded down. He gave me some tips on a piano piece I’m trying to learn. He’s so interesting…he seems to know something about everything. Seriously. Anyway, we left with waves and “see ya’s” and didn’t even hug or anything. Either he’s really not into me or he’s really gay. There’s no in-between for this one, is there? I’m not sure I’m getting the “too shy” vibe anymore. I mean, we’ve seen each other what…six or eight times now? Sigh.

I had my first date with Data guy two nights ago. We met at a tapas bar for food and drinks. It actually went great! I had a total blast. He was really cute and totally hilarious. Seriously, we were cracking up and busting on each other the whole time. He seemed a bit surprised by how well-travelled I am…whenever he mentioned a destination he’d like to visit, and I said I’d been there and loved it, he would just sigh and exclaim “Sheesh! Where haven’t you been?”

He totally called me out by asking what happened five months ago when we last communicated online. I said, “Was it you? Or was it me?” knowing full well that it was me. He said, “I think it was you,” and I explained that I had decided to take a break. He said he figured that I had found a boyfriend and I told him no, that wasn’t the case at all. He asked if I had any luck with online dating, meaning more than a first date, and I said yeah, I had. He told me that he went on about three dates with girls he met online and was really disappointed. Apparently he had bad luck with girls who didn’t look like their photos. What does Paul call them…tweeners? I don’t know if these girls were tweeners or if they were truly misrepresenting themselves with photos or what, but he said that I was very pretty in my pics and very pretty in person, so I guess he didn’t put me into the category of disappointments as far as that goes.

I had one too many sangrias (hey, I only had two!) and I was fairly tipsy when we wrapped up. We tried to figure out what to do since I didn’t want to drive, and we ended up going to his place which was really nearby. No major makeout session or anything…just mp3 downloading and bonding with his sweet dog. He had to get up early (or at least that’s what he told me), so after I had recovered he drove me back to my car and gave me a huge hug and a teeny peck goodnight. We said we would get together again.

The next day, I got an IM from good old German guy. He asked how I was and made small talk. He said he was sick and when I asked how else he was doing, he said “not so sparkly.” Then he said, “I guess it’s not so bad being single after all.”

Yep…apparently things with his ex didn’t work out after all. I expressed my sympathy and tried to cheer him up. I did think it was a bit ironic, though, that part of the reason for things not working out between them was that she still had an ex in the picture. Whoa! Anyway, I really hope he doesn’t think that I’m still interested in dating him, because honestly, I’m not. I’m totally cool with being friends, and we’re hanging out next week, but I’m not interested in going there with him anymore. I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me. I don’t want to be with someone who wants to be with me simply because he can’t be with someone else. And I also don’t know how I feel about the way he handled everything when he was so “confused.”

Am I being too hard on him?

Anyway, Data guy and I are going out again tonight. I’m meeting him at his place, and then we’re going to see a movie. It’s that weird in-between early date thing where I can’t even really picture his face very well right now because I’ve only seen him for like three hours max. I hope tonight goes as well as the other night though, or even better….


3 Responses to “Curiouser and Curiouser…”  

  1. 1 Paul

    LOL. Tweener. You are not a tweener but he’s right, there are lots of them online.

    Good to read you’re getting out there again. As for German guy, I say give him “Das Boot.” Yeh I know it’s not the corrects usage but it’s funny so I don’t care.

  2. 2 Lost

    Ooh! I think this all sounds like good stuff! This is what dating is supposed to be about, right?

    But, I am with you on German guy. I don’t think you are being too hard on him. Too bad for him it didn’t work out with his ex, but I think you did the right thing. As I say, ‘no crumbs’. You should totally be with someone who knows that they do want to be with you. I’ve been with someone who wasn’t sure and it just sucks. You are always wondering if he’ll change his mind and why he wasn’t sure to begin with.

    Data guy sounds fun!

  3. 3 Friday

    “You are always wondering if he’ll change his mind and why he wasn’t sure to begin with.”

    Yes, that is so true. I don’t want to feel that way…it would be terribly draining!

    And Data guy is a ton of fun, but kinda hard to read. I don’t know what he’s looking for…I think that’s the part of dating that is hardest for me…when I like someone and can’t tell if they like me too, or when I can’t tell if someone would like to have a girlfriend or is simply looking for fun, etc. The not knowing part drives me crazy!

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