The Young and the Restless
Published by Apricot 3 years, 11 months ago in MiscellaneousI haven’t written in a while because writing about confusion and complaints is more fun to me than writing about utter bliss. That’s where I am right now, totally head over heels. I met a guy about a month ago from match and we’ve been together ever since. He’s perfect, too perfect. Now I’m starting to get a little restless.
I need you dear readers to let me know if I’m being psycho or unreasonable. I can’t help but feel if we’ve been seeing each other for a month (2 to 3 times per week) and if he really liked me he would have asked me to be exclusive by now. I did kinda bring it up last Saturday. He had a big party at his house and both of us were trashed. He asked me to spend the night. I replied, “We are not exclusive.” He said “I know, but….”. I hate punishing him because of guys I’ve dated, but I have rules now of what I will and will not do until we are exclusive. I have a sinking feeling that he may not be ready for a serious relationship. I asked where all of his crap was, you know like random picture frames. He explained that he dated a girl for 4 years and threw away all the pictures when they broke up. Yikes. I’m scared to ask him when they broke up. On the other hand, he did ask me to go to the Virgin Islands with him in November. So that tells me he thinks we’ll be together for a while. So maybe he just wants to take it super slow because he’s obviously had his heart broken.
So-do I take it easy and try to distance myself from him emotionally until we have the exclusive talk? Or should I bring it up again? Is it too soon? Am I being unreasonable?
I commend you for sticking to your rules. Then again, rules are made to be broken. I think you are analyzing this too much. I know it’s hard not to but stop! It’s all real simple. If he wants to be with you, then he will be. You may be right, he may not be ready for a relationship.
Men are direct. Say what’s on your mind and be direct with him. Ask him about that relationship. Let me quote 2 songs that I think speak volumes of advice.
From Sting, “If you love someone, set them free.” And Madonna, “You’ve got to make him express how he feels and maybe then you’ll know your love is real.”
And with that, I must leave.
I also applaud your efforts and your rules. Trying something new is always healthy, in my book!
I think you just need to talk to him. The reality is having the conversation is never fun. But, you will drive yourself crazy unless you do. I think the key is also to have him understand where you are coming from, so he doesn’t think you are just trying to get him to commit. B/c men are just really weird with committment.
What was his respons when you told him that you weren’t exclusive? Did he have a reaction? (feel free to email me if want to discuss offline
I do think it’s a good sign he’s asked you to go on a holiday together. Very cute.
I’m glad you posted! I’ve been wondering where you were! V. excited to hear you found someone you like, too!
Congratulations for finding someone that you enjoy spending time with him. I agree with the other comments here and recommend that you take the direct approach. Either way, it will clarify where you are with this man. It will make you feel better to get this question mark off your chest and it will tell you whether or not it is a wise thing to travel on holiday with him. From experience (a very bad one at that) it is not a wise choice to go on vacation with someone that is indecisive about being exclusive. Yet, you are a wise person and in the end, trust your instincts!