Nine months ago, I met German guy for the first time.

Two nights ago, we had our second date.

I briefly shared our history in an earlier post. And I was pretty anxious about our dinner date all day yesterday. I deliberately started getting ready later than I could have so that I wouldn’t have time to show up and down two or three glasses of wine before he arrived.

I actually got to the restaurant just a minute or two before our meeting time, and I ordered a glass of wine and sat at the bar. Just a few short minutes later, he came walking in the door. I smiled and waved at him, and he smiled and greeted me with a hug and an air kiss. We sat down in a cozy lounge area of the restaurant, complete with couches and coffee tables. It felt like we were at a house party or something.

While it was immediately friendly and fun from the start, I think we were both kinda feeling each other out. I mean, it had been a really long time since we last spoke. He shared that he had been in a relationship over the summer that ended pretty abruptly. It sounded like her ex came back into the picture or something by his somewhat vague remarks. I shared that I had tried to date several guys through online dating recently, and I confessed that it was hard. We commiserated over the state of online dating (it’s so hard, it’s a lot of work, it takes so much time, the hitrate isn’t that great), but I got the picture that he is very much available these days and not actively dating anyone in particular. (I mean, I think he wouldn’t have accepted my dinner invitation if he was involved with someone, but you never know. Remember Book Thief?)

I told him I had assumed he’d moved back to Germany and was very surprised to run into him a few weeks ago. He told me that it could have gone either way—he might not have returned depending on his visa renewal status—and jokingly remarked that if he had moved back, he would have been sure to send me a photo of his wife and kids someday. I guffawed and he asked if I would like that. I asked him if he would like me to send him a photo of me, my husband, our 2.3 kids, and our house, and he laughed and said no, he probably wouldn’t. If I had that conversation with anyone else, I totally would have thought it was weird and creepy. But with German guy, it was just amusing and cute.

We spent the next few hours eating and learning about each other again. We talked about some of our new interests and what we’ve been up to lately. We discussed our travels and places we want to go. We talked about living a better life. We were totally connecting. It felt great.

Eventually, in the middle of this restaurant, with people seated not only opposite us but facing us on the couch directly across from us, German guy made a move. And once his lips met mine, I have to say it was magical. I didn’t care that total strangers might be watching us kiss. All of the spark that was there way back when we first met was definitely still there. We ended up spending the rest of the evening chatting, smooching, and marveling at the amazing chemistry that obviously exists between us. But, like I said before, the connection we have goes beyond the “chemistry” I’ve felt with other people I’ve recently gone out with (namely CB, for instance). With CB, we had physical chemistry, and we were attracted to each other, but there was still some weirdness in the way we interacted with each other, and I couldn’t tell if he really liked me or not. But with German guy, there is something about the time we spend together that is so hard to describe, and it honestly sounds a little nuts considering we barely know each other, but he makes me feel amazing, and beautiful, and cherished. We had a few movie scene moments the other night, like when he picked me straight up into the air and twirled me around, tilting his chin up to kiss me. Stuff like that never happens to me. I mean, doesn’t it sound like something out of a movie??

Needless to say, the evening went well. We’ll definitely see each other again and have already made plans to get together one night this coming week.

As wonderful as the evening was, I am definitely a realist, and I know that we could have a really amazing two weeks before deciding we actually hate each other’s guts. However, I think this is a good opportunity to take stock of my other prospects and decide if I really want to spend the energy to continue to see them.

I haven’t heard from Phone Man in a long time, and I think the ball was in my court to let him know when I was available to get together, but I obviously haven’t been too excited about him or I would have made it happen by now. So I think he will get a gentle letdown e-mail.

And then there’s Class Guy, who I do actually like a lot, but I dunno…there’s just something that was missing the last time we went out. Perhaps I was already beginning to compare things with him to the way I remembered things with German guy, but to be honest, even if things end horribly with German guy someday, I want to be with someone who makes me feel beautiful and safe and adored. I want to have that kind of spark with the man that I will someday decide to spend the rest of my life with. I know that won’t always happen within the first one or two dates, but it is hard to see myself with Class Guy in the long run. I hate to say it, but I think our age difference (he’s eight years older) and the fact that he’s about the same height as me are the main reasons for that. I know it sounds shallow, and maybe it is shallow, but I want to be able to relate to someone about things like music and culture, and I think that’s easier with someone closer to my own age. And I don’t want to worry about towering over my date if I want to wear heels when we go out. I know some women are totally okay with that (one of my great friends is a few inches taller than her hubby, and they are adorable together), but I’d rather date someone taller than me.

So yeah…I think Class Guy may be getting a gentle letdown today too. I had actually told him that I may be able to get together today at the beginning of the week, but I still haven’t given him the final verdict on my availability. And even then, I wasn’t entirely feeling it. And since we didn’t meet online, I feel bad sending him an e-mail to tell him I don’t want to go out anymore, but I also cringe at the thought of calling him to tell him.

Blah.

Since my online memberships have run out, and I’m not really entertaining any prospects right now, I know that I may wind up back where I started at some point soon. But I’m okay with that. Right now, I’m really focused on living the best life I can, and being happy with myself—and by myself—and I’ll get back into the dating scene if I feel the need to.

But for now, I’m nervous and excited about the second chance I have with German guy. We’ll see what happens….