Time for a Second Date
Published by Posh 4 years, 1 month ago in MiscellaneousLast night I had my 4th “first date” this month. That’s a lot of first dates in 3 weeks and a lot of time spent talking to people I never really want to talk to again.
So I didn’t exactly fall in love with the guy I went out with last night, but he was nice. Juuuust like all of them. Nice guys who I’m not attracted to. Nice guys who always call me after the first date and ask me out again but I just don’t respond. I’m getting really sick of first dates and nothing more though, so I decided that if this guy does call (he said he definitely would) then I should probably go out with him again. It’s not like I find him repulsive or anything. I think I should give the second date thing a whirl and see if it’s possible for people to grow on me before writing them off forever.
The word jaded comes to mind. Your attraction towards these guys sounds like you’re describing lukewarm oatmeal. Wow.
I believe in being nice but definitely not a “nice guy.” Being a nice guy is so predictable, so boring, so unattractive. No wonder none of these guys are attracting you. Sounds to me as if they’re all “nice guys.”
I suggest giving these guys a chance though. You don’t know their whole story. There may be something amazing just below the surface, just waiting to emerge at the right moment. When that happens you’ll be glad you stuck it out.
I’m of two minds here - on one hand I think “if you don’t feel the chemistry right away”, don’t go back for seconds.
On the other hand, I think that you’ve just come off a relationship with someone that you are not truly over, so every guy you meet will somehow seem lackluster right now.
And I don’t mean to say that these guys are somehow amazing and you’re just not seeing it, just consider that where you’re coming from right now definitely affects how you perceive these folks.
Don’t force yourself to go out with them again if you’re not into it. Trust your gut.
I must say that I agree with Red. There is something to be said for chemistry and some sort of spark of attraction that keeps you intrigued. There is no reason to force yourself just because you feel tired from all the first date efforts. I mean, try it and you’ll see for yourself. If you didn’t feel it in your gut the first time, generally a hundred following dates won’t change a darn thing.