Just Kill Me Now
Published by Posh 4 years, 1 month ago in DissesI met a guy that I’d been e-mailing for a week or so. In his e-mails and phone conversations he was really funny and cool so I was actually VERY excited to meet him.
Sidebar: This was after I’d had the most emotionally draining day of my life. I decided to end things with the guy that I’ve spent basically every day of the last few months with. Our relationship was fast, intense, and complicated. We knew that going in, so we treaded carefully at the beginning, but then something inside just took over. He made me feel things I’ve never felt before. He thought I was the most beautiful, amazing person there ever was. The last few days of our relationship were really difficult on me, so I knew it was over.
So back to yesterday’s date, I was trying extremely hard to not think about my “ex” and I was pretty proud of myself for even going to meet this new guy. Well it turns out he is the most, well, NOT cute guy I’ve seen in a while! No, that’s being harsh. I guess he wasn’t utterly repulsive, but he just looked waaaay older than his age and he was kinda short and pale skinned. Not my type at all. I wanted to leave right away. I wanted to call my “ex” and drink a bottle of wine and laugh about it. But instead, I drove home and tried to fight back the tears.
hang in there…..I remember that feeling all to well. It’s just that the breakup is still raw and wanting to call your ex and feel that closeness is normal.
Gesh…actually few yrs later and while going on dates with guys I meet online and I STILL feel that way -wanting to go home and cry, that is.
It gets better tho and instead of crying and thinking about your ex after a not so great date where you want to leave immed…..you’ll laugh when you tell your friends. Ok, I lied…you’ll have small bouts of frustration, but you will be ok.
As I’ve said before, pictures can be waaaaaaaaay deceiving. I don’t know why people post uber-flaterring pictures of themselves, knowing full well that they don’t look like that in person! It can be frustrating, definitely, but I know you will persevere!
It’s good that you are at least creating diversions for yourself - that is awesome. That is soooooo much better than going home and hanging out with Ben and Jerry. Not that I haven’t had my nights with them both, but you know what I mean. Breakups suck and it’ll just take time to get better. Diversions are key, so great job on getting out there!!